


Are You The Right Man For Me?

by anemic_cinema



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Self Loathing, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1477594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl dreams of being a better man, just so Glenn would look at him.</p>
<p>Companion piece to "Are You Toxic For Me?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You The Right Man For Me?

This is not something he can discuss with his brother. In the old days, he'd have no problem telling Merle about the women he wanted to fuck. His brother would always ask for all the gory details afterwards, but Daryl would only smile and shake his head. It was one thing to tell him that he wanted to do it, it was another to describe it in detail. 

This though, he definitely can't talk about. He can't fully understand it himself, this desire for a man. Not just a man, but someone who probably hates him and everything he is. Not that Daryl blames him. He hates himself too. It's too easy not to. 

Glenn. He likes to roll around the name in his mouth. The letters taste round and full. He likes the way the Ns make his tongue push up against the roof of his mouth. Glenn. Completely different from him. Their experiences are worlds apart, and that's what makes Daryl want him. He's lived all his life in discomfort, so their current circumstances don't feel so different. Glenn though, he's known comfort. Daryl wants to taste that, just get a hint of what it feels like to not hate yourself, to feel easy in your skin, to fall asleep not cursing the moment you were conceived by a drunk, violent father and a scared, unwilling mother.

He can't talk to his brother about it. Merle has a whole list of names for the people in the camp. The ones he has for the ones who aren't White are both less creative and much more involved. Daryl tries to ignore it, but he doesn't let up. When they sit by the fire together, Merle can go on and on about certain people. When he gets to Glenn, Daryl tries extra hard to shut him out. But it's hard to when he's going on and on about Glenn's race, his stature, what Merle thinks his sexuality probably is, etc. 

Daryl wishes he had the guts to tell him to shut up. The fact that he doesn't just makes him hate himself more. 

When he goes to bed, he dreams up incredible scenarios. He dreams up a world where he'd be strong enough to tell Merle to stop, to leave Glenn and everyone else alone. He dreams up a world where he'd have the courage to go to Glenn, to tell him how he feels, to tell him he's the most special person he's ever met, to offer him apologies and flowers and whatever else it would take for Glenn to even look at him. 

Because it's his mind, and in there things can go Daryl's way, Glenn would be willing to forgive him. What comes next is a little hazy. Daryl's never kissed a man. Thought about it plenty of times, but never done it. They would have to kiss though, they'd have to start somewhere. It would start that way, and then they would touch. Daryl thinks of the ways he likes being touched, and figures Glenn would be the same. 

In this scenario, their hands always end up on each other, and Daryl's hand ends up jerking himself off. His other hand grips and twists the fabric of his sleeping bag as he moves hard and fast, overwhelmed by just the idea of touching Glenn like he's touching himself. Overwhelmed by the image of Glenn's mouth saying his name, sighing it out because Daryl is making him feel good, because he likes being touched by Daryl, because Daryl is his man.

That leaves the redneck breathing heavy and coming hard. 

Being the right man for Glenn is all he wants to be. And he hates himself for not being good enough to be it.


End file.
